Saturday, January 22, 2011

A Mobile Phone Rant/History

I like phones.

I became obsessed with the idea of a mobile phone at the age of 7-8.

My dad brought home a state of the art mobile from work and I just thought it was the bees knees. It had a tiny black and white screen and all you could do was call people and pick a ring tone but shit... it was awesome.
One day I snuck it to school to show my friends. They were pretty impressed. We played with it for the whole of recess and lunchtime! Then word got out that I had one in my possession and the teachers freaked out a bit and ruined the fun.
Dad got a new one eventually and to be honest it wasn't much of an improvement. It just had a pull out antenna.
 When I was 12 (after much pleading) I recieved my first mobile phone. I was pretty damn happy. I was ecstatic. I was 12 and I was insane. Just imagine a 12 year old recieving something that had been compensating with sticks and calculators and remote controls their entire life. I was so desperate for a mobile phone I actually cut out one from a catalog and stuck it on cardboard. 
But the real thing was so much cooler. I had a pretty good phone. The nokia 3200. Just about everyone I knew had one. Think they took off really well with girls because you could change the covers. But yes, it was amazing because it was one of the first colour screens I'd seen. Plus you could actually play games on it and take photos.
3 years later that phone was just embarrassing. Technology was vastly improving which lead to more pleading. Quite the nokia fanatic I decided again I would go a nokia. This time the nokia 6300, better camera, better games, better ringtones, voice recording, larger screen, smooth and sleek. I thought to myself, "wow, technology could not get anymore advanced. This is awesome."
2 years later, my phone just sucked balls. People were getting touchscreens! There were touchscreens everywhere and they were haunting me. I turned around and people were on iPhones (god bless there souls) touching screens and moving screens around magically... I felt left out. 
So! Too scared to ask for another phone for my birthday I just hoped one would magically end up in my hands. A year later it did. Dad came to me with a HTC Magic $29 cap plan that I would have to pay myself and I was like "OK!". 

 So there you go.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

For Mature Audiences

[WARNING: The following blog is classified "M" for mature audiences. It contains subtle suggestions of nudity and descriptions involving gaw and made up action that may (but most likely may not) disturb readers. If you have any problems with the content in this blog it is advised you do not complain as the responsibility is placed on the unfortunate who inhabit aspirations to continue reading. Thank you]

The other day I was taking a shower. 

Normal shower routine would include washing my hair and shaving my legs. The conditioner bottle clearly states that if you leave the conditioner in your hair for 3-4 minutes you achieve a silky salon-quality look. So naturally, not trusting the restricted time of 3-4 minutes, I leave it in there for as long as I possibly can. This leaves me time to shave my legs and sing a bit of Put On Your Sunday Clothes before rinsing.

But this day was a little different. I felt a tad rushed. My pavlova was in the oven and by Jove I wanted to eat a nice pav that night. Why did I decide to shower at this awful time? I don't really know.

So attending to my hair with conditioner I quickly get out a new shaver and begin to shave (for those wondering how I shave my legs without getting my hair rinsed I simply turn the showerhead to the left creating an arch of water in which I am protected). I was on a roll! Clean and quick and smooth.

Then I did the other leg.
I'd just sliced off a deep 5cm piece of my skin and it was hanging off my brand new shaver.
Did it hurt? Yeah, a little bit. Can't complain too much because it lead to this...

Suddenly, I felt like I was some super awesome hardcore person who had just taken a wound from some highly dangerous monster and still needed to cross half the planet before I could seek help (I still needed to rinse and put on my clothes before seeking bandaids in the kitchen's medicine cabinet). Looking down at the blood coating my foot and ankle I figured I needed to do something to stop the flow. I kicked open the shower door and with my injured leg still in the shower I opened the bathroom cupboard to look for some kind of disposable patch thingy that would hold on to my injury whilest I rinsed and put on my clothes. FOUND! BUT BY JOVE! A super big spider intercepted my path. Feeling exposed and frightened I backed into the shower, realising that I coundn't waste time. The pavlova was still in the oven and if I was too late it could sink and crack! No pavlova for dessert! Adreneline pumped though me as I made another attempt at getting my disposable patch thingy. I screamed as I quickly threw my hand over the spider to grab my aid. I missed! The spider was getting a bit frisky. I then saw a face washer. Heroically, I used it to flick the spider out of the way, enabling myself to stop the flow of blood before rinsing.

Rinsing was difficult. Too much water on my leg and the disposable patch thingy would fall right off. I decided to do it as if I were at a salon. A bit of a back problem later and I had disabled the water supply and drying off before putting on my clothes carefully (so as to not move the disposable patch thingy off the injury). I was nearly there! I opened the bathroom door and staggered over to the medicine cabinet. As soon as I reached it however, the oven timer rang.

What was more important? My leg's health and well-being or... dessert?

My mind was made! I flew over to the oven and carefully turned down the temperature and fan assit before slightly opening the door so that the pavlova would cool down slowly.

And then I put on bandaids. I needed 3 super intense bandaids for mu super intense cut. Then I paraded around the house feeling like I had just took on death and beat it down with a stick. My parents... were very concerned.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

I'm Famous

The other night before falling asleep I remembered something...

One day at primary school we had an author visit. We had known about this author coming to our school for some time and our teachers had shoved the books she wrote down our throats in preparation. The only thing I remember from when she came was the fact that she chose me and another one of my classmates to dress up as the characters on the front cover and pose. We got our photo taken and then a couple of weeks later I was told to look at the website and I was pleased to find that the photo of me and my classmate was a feature photo.

The thing that got me out of bed in the early hours of the morning was the fact that I wanted to find this photo and see if they had replaced me with a more modern pair of kids (plus I wanted to check myself out). I searched the title of the book in google, found the website and clicked on various links before I finally came to the photo. Nothing had changed. The photo was still there. I was surprised to see that even after 8 years... I still look the same.

So... just letting you guys know, I'm famous. I'm one of 2 kids that's advertising this author to come to primary schools.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Put On Your Sunday Clothes

I'm a classical pianist, musical numbers are foriegn to me and the only song of this genre I've ever come close to is Tomorrow from Annie because my sister learnt it for her grade 1 piano exam, yet I agreed to participate as the piano player in the new local theatre production. Why? Because they asked me too. I lost enthusiasm as soon as I said yes.

But then I watched Toy Story 3 and grew an obsession with Pixar movies. Those movies are bloody brilliant by Jove! I've learnt all the Pixar movies in order of release date (TS1, A Bugs Life, TS2, Monsters INC, Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Cars, Ratatouille, Wall-e, Up and TS3) and have been watching them everyday for the past week (don't judge me). When Wall-e came out I wasn't very enthused about watching it (probably because the trailers couldn't do it justice) and now its my favourite movie.

When I began watching it the first thing I heard was a song from Hello, Dolly! which happens to be the production I'm going to participate in early next year.

Honestly, Pixar can change my enthusiasm on anything. I am now obsessed with Put On Your Sunday Clothes because it's featured in Wall-e. 

It's been stuck in my head the past 3 days. I sung it in the shower, in the car, in the kitchen, in my room, with my sister and actually I sung it 3 minutes ago whilest selecting a video for this blog. These kind of optimistic songs make me happy. Especially if they're associated with a rubbish collecting robot who's lonely and wants to hold hands with an extremely modern floating thing. Awww... that movie made me smile.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

My Little Country Bumpkin Green Ford

I had a silly moment today.

I went to a course information day for my desired university, deciding the night before that I should definately drive my litte country bumpkin green Ford. Arriving in the city I meet a very busy and angry wave of cars. I was driving at 40 kilometres an hour at one point, trying to read the signs that would hopefully point me in the right direction, pissing everyone behind me off, including a police officer who blared his siren at me to speed up. Didn't know they did that.

Melbourne roads (or any city roads) suck. I could see very clearly which road I wanted to be on and yet I was incapable of reaching it. That is the most frustrating thing in the world. Plus the cars were so built up that even though the traffic lights were green, you couldn't go because of the red light 2 blocks down!

Anyway I got to parking, parked, left my parked little country bumpkin green Ford and continued on to the uni were I was informed that I can do a music degree and an arts major at the same time with music as a breadth as well and oh it just sounds lovely.

Figured it was time to leave so I got all my stuff gathered, left my future Hogwarts and went back to my car. Except it wasn't there.

I thought, "Oh it must have been parked further down". Checked further down. Not there. Checked further across. Not there. Checked everywhere in between. Checked closer to the uni. Checked further from the uni. Checked an entire 10 blocks for my little country bumpkin green Ford. Not... there.

I walked around for an hour. An hour. A whole fucking hour. Desperate I retraced my steps, ending up in the same position the first time I checked. Even more desperate, I decided I'd head in the opposite direction to where I had been searching. I walked past signs I had seen before, but felt unsure if I'd seen them while I was still in the car or if I had seen them running around like an insane person, asking people on the street if they'd seen a little country bumpkin green Ford anywhere.

I found it. Sore legs, blistered feet and half insane, I cried with glee as I opened the door, collapsing in my seat and letting the aircon run on my overheated forehead.

I then felt a little bit lost. I held my HTC smart phone, wishing for it to be able to tell me how to get home, and I stumbled across something I hadn't noticed before. A navigation system. My phone... is a fucking GPS thing. It talks! It told me where to go! I love my phone!

The whole way home I had my music on full blast, windows down fully and my dance pants on. I was freaking people out but I didn't care because I was in my little country bumpkin green Ford, had my amazing HTC with me and immensly enjoyed the song. 

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Seventy Six

I had a terrible sleep that night...

Every hour waking up with a number in my head, echoing over and over again.
"76... 76... 76..."
Then I woke up beliving that because I took a day off for my birthday in year 8, spent spare periods at my house and ate my friends garlic bread in grade 3 that points were being deducted from my ATAR score.

To get into the course that I wanted I needed a score of 79.25 or higher. So this 76 business was freaking me out.

Woke up in the morning to a text message. Alarmed, I froze in my place. Looking up at the ceiling I took a deep breath and picked up my phone.
It was just my friend asking "How'd you go?".

My text hadn't arrived yet so I jumped out of bed, sprinted to my laptop and typed in my student code and password.
Closing my eyes for a moment, nerves building in my stomach, I crossed my fingers and hoped for something that wasn't that dreaded 76.

I opened my eyes and sighed with relief as I saw that my ATAR was above 76... quite a bit above 76.

My first thought being:
"OMG! I knew being a complete nerdy loser would pay off one day!"
My second thought being:
"Hahahaha... I'm so gunna trick my mum into thinking I don't know"
My third being:
"Hmmm... Facebook"

And so I went to get the usual breakfast ready... not realising that I was beaming like a child swimming in jelly beans. Mum walked in and with a confused look said:
"Emily? Did you find out? Do you know already!? EMILY?! EMILY!?!?! Do you know!!!???"

With a smirk and a slight giggle I said:
"Ohhhh... I don't knowwww... don't know at all. Nope nothing told yet. OK! I KNOW! I KNOW WHAT I GOT!!"


It went on like this for a while before I told her a very long story leading up to the number I had recieved for completeing my exams. I swear to god, it's the exams you need to prefect, not the information in them (although that does play a part).

So now, since I only get to do nothing but have fun for this short period of time, I will go out and party and dance and all that other non-intreverted stuff before the year of university starts.

Get ENTHUSED about christmas people!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

That Song

Listening to my iPod on shuffle the other day a familiar song came up. For the first time I'd listened closely to the lyrics and immediately thought, "Oh my god, this song is my life!". Over excited by this I relistened to the song, then the album then every single song the artist had ever released.

After that long period of time laying on my bed and doing nothing but listening I felt really really depressed. The songs weren't that depressing themselves (maybe 1 or 2 but I don't think an album's complete unless there's a ballad with just voice and piano), or they didn't mean to be.

I counted the songs that had something to do with either breaking up a relationship, being in a relationship, being broken hearted, losing someone but desperately trying to fix it, letting go because it's better that way and I compared that amount to the songs that were about something, anything, other then that. 28 to 0.

It's like psychological torture. The rest of the day I slouched around the house (the dull weather didn't help) and collapsed on any couch/bed that intecepted my path. I then made myself popcorn... sat in a beanbag and ate it while watching a blank screen on the tv. I felt so fucking depressed.

I groaned when someone asked me a question and rolled my eyes when someone told me to do something. I was bringing the house down.

Then I got up and had a Redbull.

Looking forward to Soundwave guys! Got my ticket yesterday! Wooooooooooo!